Episode 1: Cutting People Off (Pt. 2)

Lucy  0:01  
Hi everybody! I'm Lucy. I'm here with Sophie again. And we're gonna talk about, well, I guess it's a cutting people off part two. But I think last time we talked about, you know, cutting people off, you know, just like an acquaintance. And when you don't really know, you don't really talk to, you don't really mess with. This time, I thought it'd be a good idea. If we talk about, you know, cutting off people that you have known for a while, you know, let's say it's a... I don't know, like an actual friend that you've known for a while, you know what I mean? That can be hard. I know, that can be hard for some people. And some people don't honestly have to worry about that. But for the most part, I know, people do struggle with that. So that's what we're gonna talk about. 

​

Sophie  0:55  
Don't you ever just have maybe a friend or two, maybe a whole friend group that you're just not clicking with? And maybe you've known them for years, and you just, you're just kind of growing apart? Maybe you have a friend group that's getting into trouble that you don't want to be a part of, it's just, you feel like, you need to end a relationship with somebody, maybe it can be a boyfriend, or it can be a friendship, it's easier to cut off a relationship with an acquaintance than with maybe somebody that you've known for a couple years. 

​

Lucy  1:32  
Yeah, it's harder, obviously. But yeah. 

​

Sophie  1:36  
I don't know about you guys. But I surround myself around people who think like me, I don't really surround myself with negative people. But it just makes me feel like I've grown in a way in a selfish way. But it also makes me feel bad, because, you know, there's so many memories when you have friends. And you know, you don't want to lose that. But everybody changes at one point or another. 

​

Lucy  2:04  
Yeah, sometimes, maybe you do, like, hanging out with this person, but you just know, it's for the better, you know, just to cut it off now. 

​

Sophie  2:15  
Yeah. So, what are some things that you would do if, like, has there been any recent friendships that you've known for a while, but you had to cut off? 

​

Lucy  2:27  
Oh, yes! 

​

Sophie  2:28  
Oh, who?

​

Lucy  2:31  
I ain't saying names! What you putting me on the spot for anyways? What are some things that you do?

​

Sophie  2:39  
I'm gonna be really harsh with y'all. The very first how to cut people off episode. I feel like I was super harsh, but honestly, that's what I do. Like, I don't tolerate negativity. I feel like I've been through too much to tolerate negativity. It's just not in my genes. It's not in my patience. It's not in my space, mental space. So anytime I feel like my patience has run out with somebody. I just ended because honestly, I don't really see a point in tolerating a person. Does that make sense?

​

Lucy  3:20  
Yeah, it does. Before you go. So obviously, that's the first step. But before that, I just think why am I cutting them off? Like, do they make me feel a certain way? Are there problems? 

​

Sophie  3:32  
I make a pros and cons list!

​

Lucy  3:34  
Yeah! Yes!

​

Sophie  3:35  
Every single time! Yes. In my journal, I'd be like, I'm about to cut off Timmy pros and cons. Pro: He sits next to me in math class. 

 

Lucy  3:44  
If there are more pros than cons, I would cut. I would just snip. You know. That's the first thing I do.  

 

Sophie  3:55  
Step one: make a pros and cons list about cutting them off. 

 

Lucy  3:59  
Yeah. Step two. I would just unadd, you don't need a reason. I feel like people are like, let me know! No, don't even, you know, just sometimes--I don't know what I'm saying.

​

Sophie  4:16  
(Laughs) You actually didn't make sense.

​

Lucy  4:20  
I can't explain. But I know what I'm trying to say. But it wont come out. (studders) you-- Oh my God! (Laughs) 

You said this once you said the best reason to cut someone off is having no reason. You said that right.

​

Sophie  4:44  
I said having no reason to cut somebody off is the best reason to cut somebody. If somebody's bothering you, or maybe you just don't like them, and you don't really have a reason to unadd, unfollow or delete their number, that's the best reason! if somebody asked you--you don't have to announce anything, you know, no one's gonna know that you added them unless they check. I mean, what are the odds of that? You're not gonna come up to us school and be like, why do you want to follow me? That's kind of a weird. 

​

Lucy  5:17  
I have a question--

​

Sophie  5:20  
Unless they're crazy! 

​

Lucy  5:21  
Listen, what if it's a relationship where you talk everyday? And you just snip-- they're obviously going to be like, what the hell? Why'd you cut me off? Why'd you just go to me like that? I get that. That has happened to me before. Honestly, what I would do with that is I would slowly stop talking to them.

​

Sophie  5:43  
Yeah,

​

Lucy  5:44  
slowly.

​

Sophie  5:47  
If you care about their feelings, yes. If you don't care about their feelings--

​

Lucy  5:52  
But listen, if you just cut--Listen, think about it, if you just cut someone off, they're gonna, like, blast you probably on your phone and be like, "hey, why did you do this? When you blocked me What the hell is their problem?" You know? If you're trying to avoid that, just try cutting them off, slowly. stop talking to them slowly. 

​

Sophie  6:15  
Let's say, that you want to cut off somebody that you talk to every day. If you cut them off, they're gonna blast your phone at you: "Why? You're not talking to me all the sudden" the reason why I say that is because your problems are as big as you make them seem. You control your own world, you control your thoughts and your own reality in the universe. And if you make a big deal out of cutting somebody off, then it's gonna affect you. At the end of the day, you're the one who controls your own emotions. And  if you know, that's going to make you feel bad about yourself, if you talking to a person negatively affects you, then you should get them out of your life. You should only attract positivity into your life and clean out the negative people in your life. Yes, that's why I don't care. Because at the end of the day, will it matter in one year? No, exactly. It won't even matter in 10 years, okay? In 10 years, you're going to be successful, and you're gonna forget about this person, you're gonna forget them. When you graduate high school period. At the end of the day, it's not gonna matter in a couple years. So you just have to move on with your life. I mean, you're the one who controls your own life.

​

Lucy  7:57  
And think about it, If you don't do it now, do you really want to deal with that in the future?

​

Sophie  8:09  
In my perspective, it's just... it's draining for me to care about someone's feelings, if they negatively affect me, like, if somebody was talking to me every day, and I want to cut them off, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. it's draining to text them slowly every day. So I can drift. So I can make it seem like we're drifting apart. That is so much work, just turn off your phone! 

​

Lucy  8:39  
It depends the situation. 

​

Sophie  8:41  
It does! I get it. 

​

Lucy  8:43  
If it's bad...

​

Sophie  8:44  
Maybe if it's like a boyfriend or something like a more serious relationship, you know, if it was an acquaintance, obviously, I would just cut them off in two seconds. But if it was maybe like a more serious relationship, like maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife or even a family relative, you know, obviously, that's going to be harder to do, but it just depends on the person, depends on the situation.

​

Lucy  9:09  
Yes.

​

Sophie  9:11  
you just have to do whatever makes you feel better. If you generally feel bad about yourself, then don't feel guilty for cutting somebody out of your life. Because especially if you want to cut off a family member out of your life, because I feel like there would be a lot of people who would go against you and be like," Oh, don't do this because that is so bad. I feel like there are certain relationships that if you cut off out of your life, people would all point the finger at you and make you seem like the bad guy. But if you feel bad about yourself having this person in your life, then I think that's a valid reason. 

​

Lucy  9:48  
In a way I think of cutting people off as self care.

​

Sophie  9:54  
Yes, the best kind of self-care.

​

Lucy  9:57  
Yeah! 

​

Sophie  9:57  
When you cut off acquaintances.

​

Lucy  9:59  
I mean, you're taking care of yourself, you're helping yourself. 

​

Sophie  10:05  
You are. I mean, no one's gonna do it for you.

​

Lucy  10:09  
True. 

​

Sophie  10:10  
The best kind of self care is deleting phone numbers of people that you are friends with for a month. You know those many friendships that you have? You're best friends with somebody for like a month? And then you just you're like, "I'm never gonna talk you again? Delete their number. 

​

Lucy  10:29  
Will I text you by the end of the year? Mmmmm.....That's a question we all like to ask. 

​

Sophie  10:35  
I have so many of those like short friendships.

​

Lucy  10:39  
Phases? That's what I call them.

​

Sophie  10:41  
The phases? [Laughs]

​

Lucy  10:42  
Yeah. Because they're like phases. 

​

Sophie  10:44  
They are like phases----Nahh.

​

Lucy  10:46  
Phases of friendships. Don't act. Yeah, they are. 

​

Sophie  10:49  
Yeah, that is true. I like calling them short friendships, because they don't last very long. Because I feel like when you call it a "phase", I-I- every time I hear that, I feel bad about myself for being friends with people. And....

​

Lucy  11:02  
What?!

​

Sophie  11:03  
That's how I feel, I just... when you call it the "phase friendships".

​

Lucy  11:07  
No, I-

​

Sophie  11:08  
I just feel bad about myself. 

​

Lucy  11:11  
I don't mean it like--  it's not like you did it on purpose. 

​

Sophie  11:14  
I know!

​

Lucy  11:15  
Yes, it happens. 

​

Sophie  11:17  
I just like calling it mini friendships. Because you know, it's short lived. Short friendships like me, I'm short.

​

Lucy  11:28  
Okay, when you cut someone off, that means something to you, you know, like a friend, whatever. How do you recover? Because I know you can't just cut someone off and then forget about your life. Like you can, but it's not that simple. It's the mindset that matters, guys. The mindset. 

​

Sophie  11:47  
You know, in the movies, there would be like this, there would be like a Caucasian billionaire. And he has a fireplace in a cozy living room. And on top of his fireplace, he has a super boogie self portrait of him, on a chair with a Chihuahua. That's how I envision myself.

​

Lucy  12:08  
Like a red velvet robe. And matching slippers. Yeah. That's how you picture yourself.

​

Sophie  12:15  
That's-that's my energy. [laughs] It's not being selfish. It's just self care.

​

Lucy  12:27  
It's-- your Not, nar-nar- 

​

Sophie  12:29  
It's not narcissist!

​

Lucy  12:30  
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So how do you just not think about it? Well, you just explained that. Dang it. So you know how you really just, you got when you when you snip out the brain, or I don't know how you do that? I'm like, dang, what they doing right now? 

​

Sophie  12:52  
When you cut somebody off, you're like, what are they doing right now? 

​

Lucy  12:57  
Yeah, I think about that. 

​

Sophie  12:59  
Oh I mean, the reason why I don't think about it is because I don't like to focus my energy on that. I think about my goals a lot. 

​

Lucy  13:07  
And I've never really cut someone off. Actually, that's a lie. No, I was gonna say I haven't cut anyone off because they're toxic. But that's a that's a lie. I have. During the summer. Usually the summer is when I cut everyone off. And I am not ashamed of it. 

​

Sophie  13:26  
You shouldn't!

​

Lucy  13:28  
No cause everyone's like, why are you disappearing?  I haven't talked to  school people in so long. You see cutting people off in person. I honestly just don't get-- go near you. If I cut you off in person. Although sometimes I like drift from people and I don't even mean to. I just do it unconsciously. But yeah. I feel like you'll know in a way. If I'm cutting you off in person.

​

Sophie  14:11  
I'm gonna be honest, I can cut somebody off online but I cannot cut somebody off in person. If I don't like somebody, it's-- I can't hide my emotions in person. Like if I really didn't like somebody and they tried talking to me, I-- I can't be fake. If I generally didn't like somebody. If I generally did not like somebody and they came up to me and they're like, Hey, Sophie, how's your day? I pretend like I didn't hear their name. I ignore them. My face changes. Like I can't hide my frown. I just look upset. 

​

Lucy  14:51  
It's funny when you see that. because--

​

Sophie  14:53  
[laughs] I know, I know! it's funny when I say that because I am the fakest one! The most plastic. 

​

Lucy  15:01  
Yes! you taught me how to be plastic. This one time. Can I just pause for a sec? 

​

Sophie  15:07  
Sure. 

​

Lucy  15:08  
We were at a--at your school. And we were going to watch something in the school theater. And we were outside, like in the waiting room? Yeah, it was like a waiting room. 

​

Sophie  15:11  
Yes.

​

Lucy  15:24  
And one of Sophie's quote on quote, "friends" came in. They were like, Oh my god, hey, Sophie. And Sophie completely changed. She was like, Hey, what are you doing here? I don't know what you said. But you your face change, your voice change. And then when she as soon as she left, she said, "I hate that bitch."

​

Sophie  15:55  
[Laughs] She was really annoying. Okay, let me tell you, let me tell y'all something, let me tell y'all something. So if I generally hate somebody, like they cause me pain, when they speak to me, it caused me mental pain, I cannot hide my fakeness. I cannot fake smile or hold a conversation with them. Because seeing them cause me physical pain. That's one end of the spectrum. The other one is that there are people who I can tolerate because I know..... They're irrelevant period. So there's people in my school that they think we're besties.... It honestly, that sounds so mean. But I don't like to--- There's some people that I just don't like to put in that effort and let them know that I hate them. Or diss-- I don't want to say hate them. Actually. Let them know that I dislike them because it'll just cause beef. 

​

Lucy  16:58  
Yeah, we were talking about this the other day, but for me, if I don't like...

​

Sophie  17:02  
I avoid beef. 

​

Lucy  17:04  
If I don't like someone, if you just annoy me. I feel like I'd bite my tongue in school. Cause I don't care. I'm just like, you know, whatever. I'm just gonna be here for a couple more hours. So I feel like I'd bite my tongue. But then I obviously tried to avoid you. But if you come up to me and start talking to me, I'll probably just listen and then I walk away. I don't know. 

​

Sophie  17:30  
Yeah, there's just some people that I know that there's no point in causing beef. There's no point in calling somebody out and saying, Hey, I don't like you. Because it just causes negativity and it's just a waste of space in your head. You know, it's really waste. It's a thought that just takes up way too much room.